How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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