It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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