Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
