nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
