I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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