he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
