He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize