fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
