proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
