didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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