it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Houston, we have a squirter
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
