so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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