talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
