I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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