Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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