What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
