What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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