You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
