just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
