So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
