I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
