hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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