Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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