Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize