That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
