Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
