Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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