If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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