careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
