3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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