his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm too high and old for this...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
