I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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