I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize