I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
