After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
