Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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