I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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