Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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