This girl is more easily done than said...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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