and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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