Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
