Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
