I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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