Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
we should paint friendship bongs
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
