She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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