he thought i was a dude.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize