Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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