I just pynch a tree in the face
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
