I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
being pregnant is like rehab
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
