You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
