God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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