I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
