I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
