I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
